ATTA DIPA VIHARATHA

Dwelling in reality, we trust ourselves and the universe.

Dharma.

Grass, trees, and walls.

This past week, I have come to realize that my intellectual, rational, rooted-in- scientific thinking self continues on insisting that "it" is right. I don't truly trust my wisdom, my intuition, I subdue and sublimate. But, at the very least, I now recognize this mechanism!


Last night, during zazen, I experienced something that "couldn't" be (or could it?). Remarking this to my teacher, he smiled and asked me if this "vision" I had seen and felt occurred at a point in time he very precisely specified. I was flabbergasted. I continued by examining other experiences of late: my immediate perception vs. how I later chose to interpret these perceptions.

My first reaction has been to deny reality its very being. Having moved about in reality, "I" melt. Returning to this realtive reality, I come back into existence. Dogen says, in Bendo wa:

Although this inconceivable dharma is abundant in each person, it is not actualized without practice, and it is not experienced without realization. When you release it, it fills your hand - how could it be limited to one or many? When you speak it, it fills your mouth - it is not bounded by length or width.
All buddhas continuously abide in it, but do not leave traces of consciousness in their illumination. Sentient beings continuously move about in it, but illumination is not manifest in their consciousness.
The concentrated endeavour of the way I am speaking of allows all things to come forth in enlightenment and practice, all-inclusiveness with detachment. Passing through the barrier and dropping off limitations, how could you be hindered by nodes in bamboo or knots in wood?
(from moon in a dewdrop, edited by Kazuaki Tanahashi)

I bring my hands together in gassho.